An inspirational video this week that my son sent me, I love it that he understands that we all need a little inspiration from time to time.  Take a look and let me know what you think.

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Thanks Ruth

Follow your GUT 

If you stop and take a breath and listen to what your gut instinct is telling you what would you really do as a parent?

Does your Gut tell you;

• The way to get the best out of my child is to shout and scream at them?
•  My child will behave well if I belittle shame and smack them.
• Having a bad relationship with my child will make them respect me and they will behave well
• When my child behaves well, I will be nice to them
• Children should do as I say and not as I do
• There is no point in me trying again as nothing works with them
• If I make them feel bad enough, they will see that they are wrong and stop behaving badly

No I didn’t think your Gut was telling you those things.

So this week follow your GUT,

Any questions just let me know

Have a good week

Ruth

If you THINK you are beaten you are

if you THINK you dare not, you don’t

if you like to win but you THINK you can’t

It is almost certain you won’t

If you THINK you will loos, you’re lost

For out of the world we find

Success begins with a fellows will

It’s all in your state of mind

If you THINK  you are out classed, you are

You have got to THINK high to rise

You’ve got to be sure of yourself before

You can ever win a prize

Life’s battles don’t always go

to the stronger and faster man

But sooner or later the man who wins

is the 

MAN WHO THINKS HE CAN

Napoleon Hill

Watch your thoughts; they become words

Watch your words; they become actions

Watch your actions; they become habits

Watch your habits; they become character

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny!

Have a good week and please let me know if I can help you in any way.

Ruth

When the good Lord was creating mothers, he was into his sixth day of overtime, when an angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”
And the Lord said, “Have you read the spec on this one? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 180 moveable parts, all replaceable;run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that disappears when she stands up, a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair, and six pair of hands.
“The angel shook her head slowly and said,”Six pairs of hands…no way.”
“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord.”It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”
“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, “What are you kids doing in there?” when she already knows. Another here, in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t, but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, “I understand and I love you,” without so much as uttering a word.”
“Lord,”said the angel, touching his sleeve gently, “Rest for now. Tomorrow…”
“I can’t,” said the Lord. “I’m so close to creating something close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick, can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.
“The angel circled the model of the mother very slowly.”She’s too soft,” she sighed.
“But tough!” said the Lord excitedly. “You cannot imagine what the mother can do or endure.”
“Can she think?”
“Not only think, but she can reason and compromise,”said the Creator. Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.
“There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told you, you were trying to put too much into this model.”
“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “It’s a tear.”
“What’s it for?”
“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride.”
“You’re a genius,” said the angel. The Lord looked somber, “I didn’t put it there.” Erma Bombeck

Best wishes

Helicopter parent’s need to stop and give themselves and their children a break and instead encourage independence and autonomy by giving their child a belief that they can do it themselves.  By being more relaxed and confident as a parent you give your child the gift of trust and if mum and dad trust them they are going to feel GREAT.

So next time you would like to show your child how it is done :) take a deep breath and see if they can do it themselves

Good luck!

Thought for the week;

If you or your child has a bad temper you have to read this short story sent to me by a friend.

The Nails In The Fence-

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down…. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said “I hope you can forgive me father for the holes I put in you.” “Of course I can,” said the father.

I will leave you with that thought!

Here is too a really good week:)

Ruth

1 Mindset

There is no way round it you need the right mind set, if you don’t have the right mindset you may make short term improvements but these will be at the expense of your child long term happiness and success.

2 Self Management

Remember that you are your own manager and that you have to be in charge of running your life as you want it to be.  You need to manage your time and priorities effectively and lead and inspire your family. You are best to be a pro-active manager and decide what sort of parent you want to be, this way you will be able to make a plan ready to handle situations that come up during the day and not react in a way that will make your child’s behaviour worse.

3 Take Action

Any plan is only useful if you take sufficient action on it.  To do this you need to acquire the correct knowledge and make an organised effort to work towards that plan.  Remember that applied knowledge = power and if you don’t take action to do something different nothing will change!

4 Money

Every parent needs money to bring up their family.  Money enables a parent to be who they want to be, do what they want to do and live more of the life they want.  If you don’t have money to buy in extra help, knowledge or support where it is needed you end up trying to do all the work and figuring it out for yourself which is very time consuming and adds to the stress.

So what’s stopping you from reaching success?

1 Indecision

At some point you need to make a decision on what you are going to do otherwise you will continue to be stuck.  But why don’t you make the decision that you need to make?

2 Doubt

If you are not sure what to do for the best how can you make a decision to move forward?

3 Fear

If you don’t know what to do, you can become fearful of doing anything, this will just make a bad situation worse.

If you would like more help being a successful parent, contact me now, please leave your comments below I would love to hear from you:)

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Like our own, a child’s mind has tens of thousands of thoughts a day, which come from what others have said to them and from what they say to themselves and from their environment.  These thoughts include short statements, or sentences that go over and over in their mind. A child’s thoughts have a direct effect on how a child feels and how a child feels is directly linked to their behaviour.

The more positive the thoughts the more positive the behaviour will be. For example a young child starting nursery, who goes into class feeling miserable and shy and who is thinking to himself that he hasn’t got any friends and he wants to go home, is far less likely to attract some friends because he may be sitting alone and not wanting to go and play with the others.

Without realizing it a child who misbehaves will have negative thoughts in their mind like an old record on a record player going over and over, saying things like, “I’m naughty, no one likes me”, “I don’t want to” and so on. Likewise a child who behaves well will have more positive thoughts in their mind and a better outlook on life. They will say things to themselves such as “I can do this”, “This is fun”, “I can help”, “I have nice friends” and “I am good”.

Because we have so many thoughts, those that we have regularly or those that have emotional significance to us will get stored in our subconscious mind.  Like when we learn to ride a bike it eventually becomes second nature and you just do it on auto pilot.  It is the same as child behaviour, the more a child is told that they are bad, naughty and no good, the more that it becomes embedded into their subconscious mind, this damages their self esteem and confidence and ultimately is the root cause of bad behaviour, low achievement and un-happiness.

To transform a child’s behaviour we first have to re-program their mind to think better more positive thoughts, this way they will feel better and behave better.

Child Behaviour Direct focuses on techniques that help parent’s to improve their child’s negative self talk so that they feel better and consequently behave better.

You can do this in a variety of ways, for example, downloading the Parent’s Guide to Children’s Behaviour E-book, taking a course online or at one of the local groups or contacting me for one to one support.

If you feel that this blog rings true for you and you would like to make positive changes right away, contact me know to have a chat and get started. childbehaviour@hotmail.co.uk or use the contacts page above.

Take care

Ruth