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    Have you ever really thought about how you influence your child's behaviour?

    It is fascinating stuff, here is one powerful example I will always remember.

    When I was working in a nursery class with four-year old’s, my goal was to settle the new children into nursery as quickly as possible which usually only took a couple of days.

    On a typical open morning for the new children and their parents everyone met me, other staff and new friends to play together.

    There was a very friendly positive and upbeat atmosphere to welcome the new intake.

    On one occasion, a family attended with their gorgeous little boy who was very nice, polite and bright.

    He was trying to look happy and all grown up in his new uniform, but you could feel his stress.

    His mom came to talk to me and said (in front of the little boy) how he was likely to cry, he didn’t have any friends, he didn’t want to come to nursery, and he was very nervous.

    He looked at me as if to say, "Oh is that what happens here?"

    As the children started the second week of nursery, he was still crying for what seemed like most of the morning, so I went to watch out for the little boy to greet him and see what was happening.

    I found him sitting on his mother’s lap in the empty cloak room, mum was sitting crying quietly and rocking him clutched to her chest, saying:

    “You have to go to nursery, or the Police will come and take mommy away.” 

    It is easy to see how this would negatively influence the little boy. 

    After a private talk with mum about how she needed to flip this over to being a positive experience for her son she was much more assertive and encouraging.

    Mum said to her son that, it was a lovely place to go and play with new friends and asked him to draw her a picture for when she got back.

    She told him to have a lovely morning and that she was going home to do the ironing and would come back to pick him up for lunch.  She passed his hand over to mine for reassurance and waved him off with a smile.

    Because she was being a positive influence she helped to settle her son into nursery the very next day.

    Yes, it is easy to see mistakes in others, but we can also do it ourselves by just taking a step back and being aware of what we say and quickly make changes for the better.

    If you would like loads more tips like this check out the online Parenting Masterclass here: