Over many years of working with parents who are struggling with different aspects of their child’s behaviour, I came to notice two extremely unexpected parenting problems that are the key to making positive changes.
1. Children’s stress levels are high. (often significantly).
It has become clear that children's stress levels are usually raised and often significantly. Knowing that children who are considered to be difficult, naughty, disruptive or awkward are suffering from such stress levels has been really unexpected and very concerning.
Worst of all, the stress that these children are feeling is often showing up as anger and disguised as the unwanted behaviours parents were battling with.
Unfortunately the way that parents are managing the unwanted behaviour is not getting to the root of the problem and so it is very likely to continue.
2. Parents wellbeing is low (often significantly).
Notably most parents who are struggling with their child’s behaviour are tired from the constant round of battles which leaves them frazzled, feeling out of control and their wellbeing is suffering.
When you combine stressed children and parents whose wellbeing is low it can be very challenging and usually means that parents use negtive parenting techniques that are counter productive, making children feel bad and problems worse.
How to make lasting improvements
As a child behaviour coach the major goals of working with parents is to coach them using positive parenting strategies to urgently reduce children’s stress levels and improve their own wellbeing.
This positive combination improves children’s behaviour, they do better at school, families are mentally healthier, and relationships start to improve.