Self-soothing was vital for a single mum of 3 teenagers I recently worked with, the 16-year-old daughter was frequently angry and disruptive and spent time in a children's home because of their volatile relationship.
After a week of working with Mum, she told me she had several argument-free days.
When I asked her how she achieved this, she admitted, "I've been ignoring her for three days."
It became clear that she would regularly stonewall her daughter to give herself temporary relief, distance and as a form of punishment.
While it may have temporarily relieved Mom, it only exacerbated her daughter's behaviour.
Eager for change, she agreed to talk with her daughter about taking a break during heated moments, calming down, and then returning to address the issue.
The following week it was lovely to hear that they had been doing this, and when her daughter was stressed, she told mum that she was going for a short walk to calm down, which worked wonders.
Gradually using the other techniques in the Parenting Masterclass coaching programme, their relationship improved so much, her daughter was permanently allowed home by Social Services.