Welcome to the Child Behaviour Blog -

Are you a parent struggling to navigate the often-overwhelming world of toddler tantrums? 

Don't worry - you're not alone! 

After working with young children professionally for many years (and as a parent), I've learned a few simple strategies to help you manage tantrums like a pro.

In this blog post, we'll be looking at the difference between tantrums and meltdowns, why children have tantrums, and I'll share my top tips for reducing stress at home and enjoying your time with your child.

TANTRUMS V MELTDOWNS

Have you ever wondered the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown? They are commonly used to describe different types of children's outbursts.

A tantrum is usually considered a milder outburst where the child still has some control over their behaviour. Many parents have noticed that if they ignore a tantrum, it tends to subside on its own. 

On the other hand, a meltdown is a more severe outburst where the child loses complete control, and the behaviour only stops when they wear themselves out or with the help of a calming parent.

Have you ever wondered the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown? They are commonly used to describe different types of children's outbursts.

A tantrum is usually considered a milder outburst where the child still has some control over their behaviour. Many parents have noticed that if they ignore a tantrum, it tends to subside on its own. 

On the other hand, a meltdown is a more severe outburst where the child loses complete control, and the behaviour only stops when they wear themselves out or with the help of a calming parent.

It is your job to calm the situation DOWN - not join in WITH the drama!

FIVE ways to MANAGE TODDLER TANTRUMS LIKE A PRO!

1 

Stay calm

We've all been there - Your child is having a full blown tantrum in a crowded supermarket or playground. It can be overwhelming and stressful, leaving you feeling embarrassed and unsure of what to do next.

But here's the thing - how you respond to your child's tantrum can significantly impact their emotional development. When you take a deep breath, stay calm, and respond in a way that models emotional regulation, you teach your child valuable skills they can use throughout their life.

Instead of getting frustrated and yelling at your child, you can say something like:

"I know you're upset, but yelling isn't going to help us solve this problem. Let's take a deep breath and think about what we can do instead." 

This helps your child learn that having big feelings is okay, but there are healthy ways to express and manage them.

By remaining calm and modelling positive behaviour, you're showing your child that you're a safe and reliable source of support. This can help them feel more secure and confident in managing their emotions in the future.

2 

Co-Regulation

Co-regulation is about helping your child learn how to self-soothe when feeling overwhelmed. Children aren't born with this skill, so it's up to parents and caregivers to teach them how to manage their emotions. 

When your child is upset, it's important to remember that they're in their right brain, which is all about emotions and creativity, rather than their left brain, which is all about logic and reasoning.

If your child is upset that they can't have their friend's toy, speaking logically to their left brain would sound like:

"You can't have that; your brother is playing with it." 

You can see how this might make them reactive and start a tantrum. Instead, try speaking to their right emotional brain and, in a soothing calm tone, say something like:

"I know it's tough when you want something someone else is playing with. It's okay to feel upset about that."

Once your child feels validated, heard and understood, you can then start to connect with their left brain by suggesting a solution by saying something like:

"Let's go and play with the truck or bike while you wait your turn." or "How about we play a different game together?"

Using a combination of emotional right-brain and logical left-brain communication can help your child feel supported and understood while also helping them learn how to manage their emotions. 

So the next time your child is upset, try co-regulating to help them self-soothe. 

3 

Identify emotions

In times of distress, it can be challenging for children to put a name to their feelings. However, helping them to do so can be a powerful tool for their emotional development. Rather than brushing off their emotions or telling them to stop crying, try acknowledging how they feel. 

If your child is throwing a tantrum, you might say:

"I can see that you're feeling really frustrated right now." 

By doing this, you are validating their emotions and giving them the vocabulary they need to express themselves effectively. 

Encouraging them to put their feelings into words, such as "I feel angry because I can't have that toy," can help them to develop their emotional intelligence and learn to manage their feelings in a healthy way.

4 

Distraction

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of the supermarket, your child screaming at the top of their lungs because you said "no" to that chocolate bar? You're not alone! Distraction is key! 

The key is to be one step ahead of your children and distract them onto things they can have or do.

Try asking your child to help you find something in the shop, or give them a book to look at and make it a game! You can divert them onto playing with a pot and pan at home instead of emptying out the spice draw.

So, use your imagination and distract them when you can.

5 

Ignore

Being calm in the storm when your child feels overwhelmed and has a tantrum helps our little ones build emotional resilience.

If you want to continue your journey towards being a calm and confident parent. The Parenting Masterclass is the perfect resource for discovering more effective strategies to transform your parenting and unleash your child's greatness.

All the best, 

Ruth

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