HOW NEGATIVE PARENTING IMPACTS CHILDREN

Avoid long-lasting emotional SCARS

When I became a mum, I was just 25 years old. I was ready and very excited, but looking back, I realise now that I was young and a little naive.

Like most parents, and you might be one of them, I wanted the world for my children and did the best I could at the time. I soon realised that parenting is far more complicated than I ever imagined, and there were moments when the responsibility felt overwhelming.

Having trained and worked in early years education, and being estranged from my own father, I was all too aware of the lasting impact negative parenting can have on children’s wellbeing.

I was keen to avoid leaving those kinds of emotional wounds with my own children.

I began a lifelong journey to understand what truly helps children thrive and how our parenting choices shape them.

I realised that negative parenting isn’t always obvious; it can be subtle, or so normalised that we don’t even know we are doing it.

In this blog, we’ll look at what negative parenting is, the ways it can affect children, and how to prevent it from leaving lasting emotional scars.

WHAT IS NEGATIVE PARENTING?

Negative parenting is any behaviour, attitude, or action by a parent or carer that harms a child's physical, emotional, or psychological development.

This can include neglecting a child's basic needs for food, shelter, or medical care, or failing to provide a safe and nurturing environment.

Negative parenting can take many forms: being overly critical, shaming, emotionally abusive, violent, permissive, or neglectful.

For many of us, these behaviours were normalised in previous generations; children were often silenced, dismissed, told they were “naughty,” and their feelings or emotional needs were ignored.

Negative parenting uses fear-based punishments such as shouting, smacking, time-out, or other harsh discipline to try to control behaviour.

While this might work in the short term, it creates disconnection, resentment, and long-term difficulties in our parent-child relationship.

No parent is perfect, and that’s okay.

Recognising and understanding how our words and actions impact our children allows us to be more mindful, supportive, and positive in our parenting—breaking cycles of harm and helping our children thrive.

THREE WAYS NEGATIVE PARENTING IMPACTS CHILDREN

1

PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDERS

Negative parenting makes children profoundly more likely to suffer from psychological disorders such as depression, anxiety, addictive behaviour, and mental and physical health problems. Children may start to believe that they are unimportant or not valued, which can leave lasting emotional wounds that will hold them back and are hard to heal.

2

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

Children who are poorly parented are more likely to be reactive, become rebellious, demanding, and challenging.

They may believe they are entitled to have things their way and will play up until they get it. They may grow up to feel inadequate or unworthy of love and attention, and often seek negative relationships with others because that is what they know, making it hard to build healthy relationships with friends, family, and adults.

3

LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND LACK OF CONFIDENCE

Children are more likely to have low self-esteem and lack confidence. They may develop feelings of shame, guilt, and worthlessness, leading to negative limiting beliefs and struggle to feel good enough, leaving them sad and lonely, and they often can't understand why.

Negative parenting will ultimately make children more reactive and uncooperative, harm your relationship with them and create a disconnection between you.

POSITIVE PARENTING

Positive parenting is the alternative to negative parenting; it focuses on building strong, healthy relationships between parents and their children. It is based on the idea that children learn best when treated with respect, empathy, and understanding and when given clear expectations and consistent guidance. 

Positive parenting emphasises creating a safe and nurturing environment that supports a child's physical, emotional, and psychological development. 

This approach encourages parents to focus on their child's strengths and abilities rather than their weaknesses or mistakes and to use positive reinforcement and rewards to encourage good behaviour. 

Positive parenting also promotes effective communication, problem-solving, and conflict-resolution skills, emphasising the value of setting clear boundaries and expectations appropriate for a child's age and developmental level. They use appropriate consequences for challenging behaviour that teach children rather than punish them.

 Not only is positive parenting effective in raising resilient, happy, thriving children, but it also makes parenting a much more enjoyable. 

Once we get this right, our whole family will feel happier and more connected. 

Which would you prefer?

Warm Regards

Ruth